Accept That You Can’t Have It All

Society tells us that if we work hard, we will have it all. We can be successful at work and home; we can obtain anything we want, right when we want it. This honestly annoys the heck out of me. I believe we can obtain a lot through hard work and grace, but I also believe that to truly have it all is based on perception.

As a working mom, I know that when I excel at work, I may be lacking at home. Although the twenty-hour workdays may come with a nice paying job, they also put me in the position to neglect my health and the people who love me the most. Let’s be honest, if I die today, my job will be posted before my obituary. So, do I truly have it all? 

Now I know what you’re thinking: “Brandy you told me to be all that I was created to be. I thought this was an uplifting women’s empowerment, ‘all the pretty girls walk like this this this this’ (in your Big Boss Vette voice), kind of book.” Well, it is, but you didn’t think success was free, did you? Every area of our lives requires sacrifice. When there is a work deadline approaching, it’s a ‘kids fend for yourself for dinner’ type of week. After the work deadline has passed, I opt for me-time over answering weekend emails. While everyone else is saying, “I’ll work on this on Saturday”, I’ve become more comfortable with saying, “I will get to this on Monday.” Does that get me brownie points with the boss? Not really. Does it cost me sometimes? Maybe. Life is a game of give and take. You will have good days and bad days. Sometimes home life sucks while your career life may be great. There are other times when the job sucks, but your relationship is great. Every once in a while, you hit that sweet spot, where everything is smooth sailing at the same time, but that is rare. To be honest, I’ve completed successful projects and cried over just as many failed projects. There are times I’ve been right, but more times that I’ve been wrong. I’ve had great relationships, but I’ve also had horrible ones, and that’s ok. Life goes on and arguably becomes more beautiful because of its hardships. Having it all depends on your perception. Perhaps having it all is having the successes, the failures, the good, and the bad. Or maybe we can have it all, but not at the same time? 

Life is simply a balancing act, and for there to be balance, it must start within you. Let’s look at more strategies that will help you create a more balanced environment. Not all stress can be controlled, and unexpected circumstances will arise. So, let’s start by controlling the “controllables” and establishing daily stress management techniques to help us adjust to some of the curve balls that life will throw our way.